This guest post by Mark-Anthony Smith of Entitled Millennial is part of our Millennial Perspectives series. Thrilled to have Mark on board today! (Psst – he’s a freshly-minted master’s recipient available for hire…)
I don’t believe in “fake it ’til you make it” (FITYMI). We’re a generation that believes in honesty, self-awareness, and self-reflection. If we do not know something we want to learn, and we want to practice until we get it right. While “fake it ’til you make it” might work for some, it’s disingenuous. The term is meant to imply faking confidence, experience, skill, to appear as if you belong until you actually acquire these things.
As part of a generation that was raised on being authentic, and uniquely ourselves, FITYMI flies in the face of that lifelong advice. FITYMI is about projecting confidence even when you’re not necessarily confident in a particular ability. I argued in a piece on my own blog that true confidence is the willingness to show vulnerability. True confidence it the ability to be humble and ask for help. The problem is that the professional environment, and our culture as a whole, doesn’t see it that way. The professional world rewards extroverted confidence. This is what FITYMI is, acting like an extrovert even if you are not.
Personally I want to be as honest about my shortcomings as I am about what I do well. I want to put all cards on the table, and I want others to do the same, especially employers. But showing vulnerability in a professional settings can hurt you in your career. Whether writing a cover letter, interviewing, meeting with clients, asking for promotions, or managing a team, vulnerability is not rewarded. So people end up following advice like FITYMI to get ahead, even when they don’t necessarily feel confident in what they are doing.
Don’t get me wrong, this advice can work; but at what cost? And I wonder if there are better ways to cope with a lack of confidence in a particular area without faking it. I wonder if there is space for an introvert to be an introvert in that space.
You Call It Coddling, I Call it Honesty
One of the criticisms millennials often hear is that we’re coddled – we need our hands held, we are dependent, we want everyone to be our friend. Certainly being honest with an employer about shortcomings probably also entails getting more training, or may just mean taking more time to get up to speed. I don’t view that as a bad thing. I find it pretty difficult to not be up front about my weaknesses; if I’m not then I feel deceptive, and deception is not something I can run on – which is part of the reason I avoid sales positions*.
Another trait millennials are also criticized for is having unrealistic expectations. One of the expectations most of us had prior to the Great Recession was finding a rewarding career. All the talk of “you can be anything you want to be” that we heard growing up probably sunk in a bit too much, and many of us are looking for that one job where we feel comfortable from the start – no faking it required.
So where does that leave the tens of millions of millennials unemployed, or underemployed in jobs they don’t care for? Should they fake it until they make it? As much as I don’t like the FITYMI sentiment, I don’t think we have much of a choice. I always try to remind myself that I need to approach the world as it is, not how it should be, and the reality is that jobs are scarce. When something promising comes along, even if you feel a bit apprehensive about the position, FITYMI is the only way you’ll get and maintain the job. It’s probably sound career advice, I’m just not particularly fond of what it entails.
*Stay tuned to my blog Entitled Millennial for a post about why I avoid sales positions.
What do you think of FITYMI? Are you on board with it in your own life, or are you fighting against it?
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