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Why Your Friends Have it All Figured Out (And You Don’t)
Because they’re lying. To you. To their parents. To themselves. I say this for three reasons: Having it “all figured out” is a fallacy, which we’ve discussed in the past. Distrust anyone who tells you...
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Self-Focus as a Selfless Act
We all know the common characterization of Millennials: as self-centered, self-absorbed, narcissistic little twerps who don’t bother to look up from social media long enough to gaze beyond their...
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What Do You Want to Know?
So I’m in the midst of planning a number of “career/life discussion” lunches for my Bates students in the upcoming weeks. This, to me, is like getting to talk about the many forms of Swiss chocolate....
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Is Life About Checking Off Boxes?
Here’s a good way to feel pressured and unfulfilled: treat life like you’re earning a Scout badge. You remember that process from childhood, don’t you? Your Scout leader announces the troop will be...
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Can’t We All Be Above Average?
That’s what a student with red-rimmed eyes asked me last week. She stood before me, distressed about her average (perfectly acceptable) grade on a paper assignment, visibly willing her tears away. I...
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The Twentysomething Identity Crisis
Listen up, class: you’re getting rid of your professor for a day. (My god, you could at least wait on the hoots and hollers until I’m out the room.) Today we have our first substitute teacher, Ms....
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What If Everyone Sees Through Me?
Career avoidance strategy #597: Convince yourself you’re an imposter and that your accomplishments to date have all been due to luck. Here’s a case study: a senior recently asked me to look over her...
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Is Your Career In Your Genes?
“I have absolutely no idea what I want to be.” If I had an angry employee for every time I heard a student say that, I’d be Marissa Mayer. The thing is, I’m not buying it. OK, sure, you don’t know...
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Do Childhood Dreams Matter?
If you’re in need of a life lesson, an Adam Sandler movie can provide it. Parenting? Excruciating but rewarding. Growing up? You’re never too old to make progress. True love? Transcends sex, memory and...
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Why We Hate Networking for Jobs: Confessions of a Networking Convert
Networking for jobs. When I mention the phrase to my Bates students, their noses wrinkle, their lips grow taut, and the tip of a tongue sometimes protrudes ever so slightly from their mouths. Disgust....
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Is The Search For An Authentic Self Worth The Hassle?
Crises stink. They’re full of questioning, futile consideration of options that will be discarded, and feelings of being downright confused, lost, and miserable. Such fun. But as we’ve discussed in the...
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Money and Happiness: What’s the Right Balance?
When I talk to my Bates students about careers, their most common concern is that they won’t make enough money. I’m always saying, Oh, the money will work itself out. If you love what you’re doing, you...
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Who Are You Trying to Impress?
How affronted are you by that question? If you’re feeling pretty peeved at me for asking, then you’d better read on. I was asked that question once, bluntly and without warning, by a total stranger....
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Why I Hate “Under 30″ Lists
You know what drives me insane? “Under 30″ lists. “Young movers and shakers” awards. “Rub It In Your Face That These People Got Their Acts Together Faster Than You” roll calls. Under 30 lists are...
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Career Choice Overload
A number of years ago, a junior student I’ll call Caroline came into my office for an advising meeting. She’d already declared a psych major – otherwise she wouldn’t be stuck with me – but it soon...
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When to Go to Graduate School (& When Not To)
Want to avoid the career search? Then I bet going to grad school is high on your list of considerations. Especially in this bad economy, it’s tempting to “hide out” in a secure academic institution...
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Living in the Present, Planning for the Future
Now and Later candies were serious currency on my middle school playground. You could trade the tiny sweets for just about anything: an “in” with the guy you liked, court time playing basketball, even...
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Finding Yourself is The Creative Challenge of Your Twenties
My two-year-old daughter’s need for creativity overrides her basic needs. She’s been known to wake up at one in the morning shouting “I want to do work!” (cute except when you’re the one who has to get...
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Why the Bad Economy May Be Good News for Millennials
You’re screwed. That’s the message millennials keep being sent. Such as in the New York Times’ much-discussed article “Do Millennials Stand a Chance in the Real World?” which predicts that new...
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Letter to Graduates: Do No Harm
Dear Graduates, As you ponder what to do next in your lives, lofty maxims encircle you: “Follow your passion.” “Shoot for the stars.” “Live the life you imagine.” Ethicist William MacAskill recently...
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